


The Broken Carnival

by NightmareChronicles



Series: The Broken Carnival [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Community: homestuckfluffcanons, Homestuck - Freeform, Homestuck Hurt/Comfort On Demand, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-09 00:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3230111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightmareChronicles/pseuds/NightmareChronicles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>shoosh pap</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Visiting The Dark Carnival

My name is Tavros Nitram, I didn't like anything scary. And my father tortures me about it, and since Halloween is around the corner the Carnival of Horror is coming to town. The first time I went I was just ten years old, they don't allow any child under the age of thirteen. But my dad is good friends with the man who runs the Carnival. I think my dad just wanted to see me so scared that I crap my pants. The place doesn't look as scary on the outside, but creepy enough to make me wonder how bad it was on the inside. My father lead us into the gates and weaving through a few tents. He told me then that he is friends with the man who runs this dark carnival. His stage name is the Grand Highblood. He entered a tent and asked that I would stay outside.

Their voices were muffled from the inside, but it wasn't mistakable when there was yelling that sounded more like roaring. When the roaring stopped a young child, my age, walked out with his eyes to the ground and his hands in his pockets. He had gray clown makeup on, matching his gloomy face. To my young curiosity I had followed him. He was sitting on a barrel, elbows on his knees and chin in his palms. He looked like he might start to cry, but all he did was heave a sigh and look up. He saw me standing there looking at him, and smiled slightly.

"Hello, I'm, uh, Tavros. Are you okay?" I stutter a little.

"I'm fine," The clown boy snickers, "I'm just motherfucking peachy. My name is Gamzee, the roaring motherfucker in the tent back there is my father. They call him the Grand Highblood around here. He yells at me a lot, says I mess up a lot and thats I have more motherfucking potential than this." As he said this he gestured to himself moping around. He got up from the barrel and stuck out his hand for a handshake, I took it. But instead of a handshake he pulled me into a hug, when he pulled away he looked at me and smiled.

"Tavros, you and I are going to be best motherfucking friends, ain't we. I just know it." He says.

*six years later*  
Tavros:

Halloween is almost here and the carnival is back again. Ever since I was ten Gamzee and I have been great friends and kept in touch. I begged my dad to take me there, which got boring for him because I'm not scared and go there just to see my best friend. Now I have a girlfriend and I'm taking her there. We have been going out for a few months and I can't wait to introduce her to Gamzee, I hope she likes him. I hope he likes her...

She's strongly opinionated about some of my friends, and it's not always positive... My other friends don't like her but I can't pick sides. I'm constantly playing Switzerland. And I’m tired of it.

We walk through the gates and I look down at her and smile, she smiles back up at me. I hold her hand, "You aren't scared are you?" I tease her.

"Pfft, of course not." She says, lightly punching my arm.

"I want you to meet my friend Gamzee, so try to be nice. Please?" I say.

"Isn't this that friend you always talk about? Of course I'll be nice. When am I not." She laughs, I roll my eyes with a sigh. We walk up to the tent where Gamzee usually stays.

"I'll be right out." I tell her. I go in Gamzee's tent and I see him laying on the couch with the TV turned on and his arm dangling. His thin fingers graze the floor as he swings his arm back and forth. I whistle and he looks over, a smile spreads across his makeup covered face when he sees me.

"Hey motherfucker, how are you!" He gets up and comes to give me a hug.

I laugh, I missed him so much. "I'm, uh, doing good bro. And I, uh, Brought my girlfriend. I've been dying for you to meet her. She's right outside."

his smile fades a little, but comes back. Nervously he laughs, "Well brother, I didn't know you got yourself a lady friend. Man you didn't keep me as updated as I thought." He places his hand on my back ad we walk outside.

I let out a soft sigh, fingers crossed that this goes well. "This is my best friend Gamzee, the one I've been telling you all about."

She gives him a fake smile, "Hello, I'm Vriska. Nice to meet you."

Gamzee returns it with an even faker smile, "Well it's motherfucking nice to meet you too, Miss Vriska. I heard so much about you" He lies. He looks at me then and he hugs his shoulders, forcing a shiver. "It's colder than a motherfucker out here, and a motherfucker be real cold brother. Give your lady friend your jacket then come inside, I wanna talk to you alone...just for a second."

I nod and shrug off my jacket and drape it over Vriska's shoulders. She put it on and flipped up the hood, kissing my cheek. I followed Gamzee inside, "Is something wrong Gamz?" I ask.

"Well Tavbro, I didn't know you had a lady friend till now. That hurts that you never told me. And I sense a bad motherfucking vibe coming off of her. I ain't kidding." He says.

I knew something would go wrong, I just didn't expect it to be Gamzee to have a bad judgement. "Gamz, bro, I'm happy okay? Doesn't that matter at least."

"Of course it does brother! But are you truly happy. There isn't something deep down that makes you feel like this relationship ain't meant to be?" He asks sounding kinda desperate like he knows the problem between Vriska and my friends. But he doesn't I never talked about Vriska to him before. He must really sense something.

"Gamzee are you like psychic or something. Do you really sense other peoples auras?" I ask.

"Yes motherfucker! And hers reeks of darkness, she's bringing you down bro. You are in denial, and you won' t admit that there's truly some wrong shit going on in that relationship."

My phone buzzed, it was Vriska it said: it's freezing out here let's go! And I can't believe your best friend is some clown freak!

Okay, all of my friends are right I can't take this anymore. She isn't going to be my girlfriend if she is going to treat my friends this way.

Gamzee looks at me, his face suddenly serious that says: It's her isn't it?

I nod and walk outside of the tent to talk to her. "This isn't going to work you can't treat my friends this way. I thought I loved you. But I Cant love someone who treats my friends badly. And Gamzee is my best friend."

"Are...are you breaking up with me?!”

"Yeah...Uh, I guess I am"

"Are you going to leave me out here or stay inside and make out with your clown freak. aren't you gonna walk me home!"

Oh my god I can't believe her. I look at her dead in the eye, "You know where you live. Goodbye Vriska."

Leaving off on that note, I turn around and walk back in the tent. I hear an angry groan, which is obviously Vriska, as she stomps off.

I Look at Gamzee, "Dude I'd never pick some girl over you. You're my best fucking friend Gamz."

He smiles at me and pulls me into a hug, I hug him back realizing how much I missed actually seeing him. 

"I'm glad I'm back Tav." He says softly. He pulls me back and grabs my shoulders...and that's when I notice his scars.


	2. Lost Jackets and New Sweaters

I couldn't ignore the scars...I mean how could I, he's my best friend. But I choose not to bring them up right away. He has a smile on his face and I would not dare to take that away from him. 

"So, Tavros, you feel better now?" Gamzee asked.

"Yep, but Gamzee, she left with my jacket. And it's pretty cold out, and all I'm wearing is a t-shirt." I sigh. I can't believe I didn't get my jacket back. Well at least I won't feel bad that she's walking home by herself in the cold without a coat. I look over at Gamzee who is now on the couch. I watch him stretch out his long legs, calfs propped up on the arm of the sofa and his feet dangling off.

As he puts his hands behind his head he looks at me and smiles widely.

"You know Tavros, you can always stay the night. You have before. Just tell your old man, we can have so much fun brother. So much motherfucking fun." He reaches over to the dresser right behind his head and plucks off a black sweater that looked like my black coat. He tosses it to me and I reach out to catch it. I slip it on, it smells a lot like pie and candy apples. It smells a lot like him. I zipper it all the way up and flip up the hood, I put my hands in the pockets. It smells really sweet, yep, just like Gamzee. I slip my phone out of my jeans pocket and text my dad, telling him that I'm staying the night with Gamzee.

"So, uh, Gamzee what do you wanna do?" I ask. He smirked a bit, and then got up from the couch.

"Well, we have a lot to catch up on. So lets go on a motherfucking adventure brother." He laughed. It's kinda scary when Gamzee wants to go on an adventure because you don't know what's gonna happen.

"Sure, but uh, where are we gonna go to adventure?" I ask nervously. His smile fades a little bit and he gets up from the couch to walk over to me. He puts his hands on my shoulders again, I have to look up at him since he's taller than I am. I'm only 5'7" and Gamzee is like 6'2".

His smile comes back and he laughs "Tav, you aren't scared to go on an adventure with me are you? Because I'd always protect you if anything were to go wrong." He pulled me into a hug and laughed a little, looking down at me. I smirk and roll my eyes.

"Come on Gamzee, lets go on an adventure." I say. He pulls away from me and grins really big. He takes my wrist and leads me out of the tent.

\---

In the middle of the Hall of Mirrors, I look at him, worried. But that worry fades when I hear his laugh. So I decide to ask him...

"Hey Gamzee?"

"Yeah Tav?" He looks at me, a bunch of other Gamzee's surrounding him. 

"How have you been since I last saw you?"

"Eh..a little stressed. You know with my old man and everything...with my mom having passed away. Having no friends there for me, I wish I could've held you. I wish someone would've been there when I broke down. Why...?"

"I saw your scars Gamzee..." I say, stepping towards him and placing a gentle hand on his arm. "I am here for you. I will always be here for you."

"Thanks Tavros, that really means a lot to me." He says lowering his eyes sorrowfully. I step forward and lift up his chin so he looks me in the eye. 

"You are wonderful, you are not any less of a person. You matter." I tell him without stuttering or pausing, looking him straight in the eye. I mean this from the bottom of my heart.


	3. Cuddles and newfound love

Gamzee and I look up into the trees as we sit in a small clearing near the forest. He looks over at me and smiles. It's pretty cold out, thank god Gamzee had a sweater to give me or I might've gotten sick. There's something about Gamzee that's different that I really like. I don't even know how to explain it, because its new to me. I don't know what I'd do without him, he's my best friend.

"Gamzee, I uh, don't know where I'd be without you..." I say.

"Awww, Tav. I feel the same motherfucking way." He lays down but props up his torso on his forearms. He sighs, and continues to look at the sky.

"Brother," He starts again, "Motherfucking miracles brought us together. But you know I'm going to be leaving again soon. And motherfucking traveling, far away all the damn time. Tav, I don't wanna leave you again. I don't wanna fucking leave you, I hate it. You're the only friend I got, I love you bro." He starts to cry and turns toward me. He lifts up his hand and starts wiping his face.

"Gamzee you're gonna-" I start, but he pulls me into a really tight hug and starts bawling all over again, I sigh.

He sniffles and looks at me with one arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my neck.

"Tavros, sometimes I just wanna kill myself. I want to die, I hate being here. Just motherfucking put a knife in my chest. I get so fucking lonely and sad. And then my old man yells at me for moping around all the time. Then I get a text or letter from you and I'm happy again, but then... it reminds me you aren't motherfucking here. You're out with your other friends and having fun without me. You go to school, brother, I miss most of school for this motherfucking carnival. I hate it."

He puts his head on my shoulder and I feel his shoulders and stomach move in and out, up and down as his breath stutters. I'm worried for him that he wants to harm himself and I'm upset that he is getting so worked up like this.

I put my hand on the back of his head, "Gamzee, uh, I would never leave you. You're scaring me though, don't ever try to harm yourself again. You're never going to be alone as long as you have me. And you will always have me." He lifts his head again and looks at me, he's so close. I feel his slow breathe warm on my cheeks. His arms are still draped around my shoulders and waist. We were still sitting in the clearing, the look on his face changed and his eyes softened suddenly he didn't look so sad. Although I couldn't read the look on his face.

"Life is beautiful, friendship is beautiful. True love is beautiful and it's full of motherfucking miracles. Tavros I said I love you. I meant it." Gamzee said. I stared at him blankly, then I realized what he meant. He leaned a little closer, now his forehead was touching mine and our noses are touching too. My eyes widen a bit, my best friend is in love with me? My best friend is in love with me, is...is that what I felt. Feeling like something is different with him, because it is.

Gamzee tilts his head a little so his lower lip is touching my upper lip, but he doesn't do anything he just stays there. His eyes relax a little and his muscles once tense are relaxed too. I try to hold back a breath, then Gamzee kissed me and the breath was let out.

"Gamzee, mmn, st- stop it." I say in between the gentle movements. Okay, honestly I didn't want him to stop. But I'm kind of embarrassed and my cheeks feel really hot. I take the hand that was on the back of his head and twirl his hair through my fingers.

"Come on, just one motherfucker." He laughs as he pulls away.

"Fine, one. Just one Gamzee." I say. He kisses me one more time but we topple over onto the grass, in between breaths I hear him laughing.

When he pulls away he looks at me, "Tavros, brother. You are so motherfucking cute." He kisses me on the cheek and stands up, he reaches out his hand for me to take it. I do and I get up. I look him in the eyes and smile.

Wow... I'm in love with my best friend.


	4. If I Could Stay

Gamzee:

Motherfucking miracles brought me and my best friend together. And about last year I realized how much I motherfucking loved that motherfucker. I love that motherfucker more than that fucking miraculous wicked elixir Faygo. And I love that fucking shit. And I just kissed him, and he fucking kissed me back. I couldn't have been any happier.

"So, Tavbro. You gonna stay with me tonight. Honk honk." I wink. This motherfucker is so cute when he blushes, look at him. I can't help but think how fucking adorable he is. He smirks and nods.

"Well, you can't just sleep on the motherfucking floor. I'll take the couch and you take the bed."

"Uhh, are you sure Gamzee."

"Yes I'm sure motherfucker. You're taking the bed." Why the motherfuck does he gotta protest, I ain't letting him sleep on the couch or the floor.

I wish I could stay with him, but I don't think it''ll make the old man happy.

hours later: Tavros:

"Gamzee! GAMZEE!" I try yelling to him but he just stands far in the distance with a horrific smile on his face. He has three long scratches running down his face. I tried running to him but he just became farther and farther.

"GAMZEE!" I scream. I clutch my stomach, I think I'm gonna collapse from the inside out.

"Goodbye Tavbro." His voice a faint whisper. His figure exploded in heavy amounts of bloods of different colors. I drop to my knees. No Gamzee, he can't be leaving me. Gamzee, is he dead? I try reaching up, try waking myself up. It becomes hot. I can't breath. I can't get up from my knees. Please, is this a dream. This has to be a dream.

"GAMZEE!" I scream once more.

I wake up gasping. I look down and realize I'm under the blankets on Gamzee's bed. When I went to bed I didn't put them on, Gamzee probably covered me. It's only three in the morning. Gamzee is up though, laying on the couch watching cartoons.

"Uhh, Gamzee?" I speak up.

"Yes Tavbro." He answers looking back at me.

"I, um had uh a nightmare."

"Aw Tavbro, what happened."

"You, um, you," I start crying, "you died."

"Aw Tavbro, that ain't motherfucking happening for a long time. I'm not gonna leave you."

"Can you um, come uhh, you know." I say looking down.

"You want me to come sleep with you Tavros?" He asks, I can only nod. I need to know he isn't going anywhere. He gets up and comes to lay next to me not bothering to get under the blankets. He isn't wearing a shirt only his polka dot clown pajama pants. It makes me feel only a little awkward, but I turn on my side and rest my head on his arm and put my hand on his chest. I close my eyes and feel his chest slowly move up and down as he breathes.

"Tavros. I fucking love you.

I sigh, "I love you too Gamz." I concentrate on my breathing and his. Making mine in sync with his. Up and down. Up an down. His chest smooth against my hand, and his slight tone of muscle relaxed beneath my head. He stays awake for a while because he knows I can't sleep either, but we just lay there anyway. He rubs his chin against the top of my head ruffling my Mohawk a little. He tilts his head and kisses me on top of the head too, then resting his forehead against the top of my head. I'm not sure if he's totally comfortable this way, but he stays this way. At least he isn't sitting up right, that would hurt his neck, but now that he's laying down I can tell he's falling asleep. I grab the other part of the blanket and swing it over his body. I hope he isn't as sad as he was, I never want my poor Gamzee to be sad.

TAVROS'S LIST TO STAY WITH GAMZEE:

~Gamzee attends school here

~Gamzee lives with me

~Introduce Gamzee to my friends

~Tell my dad Gamzee wants to attend school

~Talk to the Grand Highblood about Gamzee attending school and staying here

~Talk to Dad and The Grand Highblood about us being a couple.

Tavros:

I wake up, Gamzee is still asleep next to me. I look at the clock.

Its already ten a.m.


	5. Gamzee Attends Alternia

Tavros:

After a long sit down with my father and Gamzee's we talked about Gamzee quitting the carnival to live with me and go to school, they agreed. Gamzee is starting school today, at Alternia High. I can't wait for him to meet my friends, I know they'll like him, I just want to try avoiding any Vriska drama. I just know she is going to open her big mouth and say something to make his life miserable. He's switching schools and will now be attending full time, as a sophomore with us, and I'm older than my friends by a few months making them 15 and Gamzee a month older than me.

"So, Gamz, uhh. You ready for your first day at Alternia?" I ask as we get ready, slipping my shirt over my head.

He smiles, "You bet I motherfucking am Tavbro."

I'm wearing my usual t-shirt with a Taurus sign on it with a black hoodie slung over it. Gamzee puts on the purple skinny jeans and black vest I got him from Hot Topic and a Capricorn t-shirt to match.

"Uhh. Ease up on the cursing at school um.. okay Gamzee?" I say, I'm worried he'll slip up, or curse out a teacher. Please... let's hope not.

I mentally face palm myself thinking of how his first day will go. 

Later at school:

Hey, uhh, Terezi. I want you to uh, meet my friend Gamzee. He's going to start coming to school here now."

"Hia Tav. Is this the same Gamzee you've been telling us all about." She winks at me, I can't help but blush a little. My friends do know about Gamzee and I except for Karkat. Truth is Karkat knew Gamzee longer than I have. He met him when Gamzee first started to work in the Carnival. And not a lot of us can stand Karkat the way Gamzee does, so I don't think he should know his best guy friend is dating his other guy friend.

"So we agree not to tell Kar-" I start.

"WHY DID YOU TRY HIDING THIS FROM ME! REALLY YOU ACT LIKE I WOULD CARE, I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR YOU! BUT THINKING YOU'D HAVE TO GO BEHIND MY BACK ABOUT THIS, actually makes me feel kind of hurt Gamzee..." He starts out yelling, but then he sound sincerely upset.

"I'm sorry Karkat..." I say.

Gamzee runs and hugs Karkat, "Hey, best motherfucking friend. I haven't seen you in what feels like a millennia!" Karkat actually smiles.

"I missed you too Gamzee, but can you put me down?" Gamzee looks at Karkat before realizing he's being holding him in the air.

"Sorry bro." He says and placing him back on the ground.

"So, how about introductions." I say looking for their approval as the rest of my friends walk up to come meet with us. Everyone nods.

Gamzee:

"I'm Gamzee. A motherfucking juggalo, who loves pie and rap. I've been to school, but missed most of it for that carnival hell hole I've been forced to work in."

Terezi:

"I'm Terezi, I'm blind, but my other senses are outstanding. Better than any other creature you could imagine. Hehe." I say looking to Nepeta 

Nepeta:

"I'm Nepeta. I like animals and cats. My daddy takes me hunting too, I'm really shy but nice. But... if you get me mad, I will take no responsibility for any injuries you go home with." I say with a cute smirk on my face.

Karkat:

I roll my eyes and look at him, "And you know me."

Tavros:

"Where are the others? Are they in the cafeteria?" I ask, Nepeta nods.

"We can introduce Gamzee to everyone else when we get there at lunch time." Terezi suggests.

I nod, Gamzee just smiles. He really is cute, and I love his smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Tavros:

We walked into the cafeteria and walked to our usual table filled with at the rest of our friends that didn't meet up with us.

"Guys this is, uh, Gamzee. The one I told you about. You know, my uh, my boyfriend." I blush slightly. Out of the corner of my eye I see him blush too.

"Hi Gamzee, I'm Feferi." Fef smiles brightly as her usual bubbly self.

"I'm Eridan." He says arrogantly while eyeing Gamzee up and down, rolling his eyes.

Gamzee looks at the rest of the table a little shy to talk, everyone else looks at him.

"Oh, those clothes are an atrocity," A small voice hissed. "Hello dear, you must be Gamzee. I'm Kanaya."

Oh mother of God.

"Heheh, hey." Gamzee laughs nervously, inching a little closer to me.

Sollux looks up from his computer and nods, "Sup bro." And back to his laptop he goes.

Aradia looks over and smiles, "Hello Gamzee, I'm Aradia." She flips a strand of her black hair from her face.

Walking up behind Nepeta is Equius, in his deep breathy voice he says, "Hello Gamzee. I'm Equius."

"Hey bro. It was cool meeting all you motherfuckers." Gamzee smiles.

Equius cringes at Gamzee's choice of language. He doesn't much care for foul language.

We sit down and as we do, guess who walks in.

"Oh look, it's all the dorks. All sitting together in one big happy loser family." Vriska snickers. In a mocking voice Terezi says, "Oh look who it is, Vriska and her bitch pack. I'm sure they have nothing better to do than be complete idiots." Nepeta giggles, Equius looks back at her with a deathly glare and she stops. Sollux behind his glowing screen snorts, and Aradia turns away to hide her sinister smirk. Vriska rolls her eyes, she really must not have anything better to do than to stand around and attempt to insult us. But really one of us always has a quick come back, making her plan backfire. She couldn't be anymore of a joke, and I used to call her my girlfriend. A deep hole of shame filled me, knowing that I used to have feelings for her knowing how badly she has treated my friends. I don't think Terezi likes Gamzee that much, but hating Vriska and being my friend, she'd stick up for me and everyone else to bring Vriska to justice.

Gamzee slipped his hand over mine defensively, and Vriska sees it.

"Oh. My. God. You and clown boy are a thing now! I'm dying over here. You broke up with me for a fucking clown! How pathetic." She grabs her stomach laughing hysterically.

Gamzee moves his hand and looks down in shame. A wave of guilt is threatening to drown me.

I stand up, "He is not a clown! He is a human being! And has more friends than you'll ever have, because you are worthless and mean nothing! I hope you know how bad you make other people feel and how much crap you put them through! You deserve to feel what you make them feel."

Gamzee looks up at me, a sad sparkle in his eyes and a melancholy smile slightly falling onto his face. Vriska has a disgusted face on, like she can't believe what she just heard that had come from my lips. And for the first time ever I was able to speak with a strong emotion and confidence without stuttering a single word. I continue to stand gripping the edge of the table and the rest of them look up at me. I've never felt so confident, or angry, before. I look down at Gamzee and smile. I sit down and hug him.

Into his ear I whisper, "I love you, Gamzee. Anything anyone says can never change that." He pulls away and smiles, everyone else at the table does too.

"Tav, you just told off your ex girlfriend. Without stuttering, and you didn't just stick up for Gamzee but you stuck up for the rest of us too." Karkat smiles. Over the top of his laptop Sollux lifts up his head and smiles.

"Karkat is right Tavros, thanks for that. It must of been difficult to say that to your ex girlfriend."

"It's not that I care. I feel terrible that I went out with her knowing how badly she treats you guys. But she deserved it, and no one calls my Gamzee a clown." I smirk at him and he kisses my cheek, returning my smile.


	7. Lessons and Poetry

Tavros: 5:00PM

Algebra is kind of hard to explain to someone who hasn't always had a fully stable school career. And it wasn't the easiest to teach Gamzee what he has missed out on in class. I open the text book between us as we sat on my bed, I showed him a few tricks and short cuts for equations. It helped him some, he was able to understand a little more, I also went over with him essays and poetry for our English class. Gamzee wrote a short story but he wouldn't read it to me...when I'm looking down at the poetry book I had open he had leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. My cheeks felt hot and I knew I was blushing hard. I smiled big but didn't lift my head from the book, averting my eyes from him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smiling too. 

Gamzee: 5:00PM

Tavbro has been helping me with some work, I know some of it and it's not that hard. Before my mother died she used to homeschool me. And from when I was five to when I was eleven I actually went to school, then my father wanted me to start with the carnival that's when my mom had started to homeschool me. I had already met Tavros but I never saw him often, I only had met him in person twice before just this year we had always sent letters to each other. I'm not dumb, but I'm not smart, so Tavbro started helping me out is nice. I wrote a poem for him, well I didn't actually give it to him yet I am sorta self-conscience and insecure. I wouldn't know what he'd think of it.

Gamzee: 2 hours earlier ~3:00PM

"ugh noo. No. No. NO!" I growl to myself crumpling up yet another piece of paper and throwing it over my shoulder. I really am trying to write a story or poem for Tavbro. I really love him, and he's trying hard to help me with my school work, the least I can do is show him I'm making progress by writing him a nice poem. Or a short story, something! Hmm how about...

Tan skin and dark eyes, dark shirts and blue jeans.

Juggalo makeup and shaggy hair, Purple tee's and skinny jeans.

White makeup smudged on his cheek. Pink lips replace where the makeup once was on me.

Wiped off and exposed, he can see the real me. He always was able to.

Through the makeup, behind the act, he was able to see my pain.

When I whispered I love you, he said it too, and that pain went away.

I'm just a skater and he's so much more. He's smart and has potential. He brightens up my day.

I don't know how to tell him, so I sit here and let the day waste away.

How does he know how much he means to me?

I lean back on the park bench and tilt my head upwards. I look at the blue sky, no more circus tents blocking my view today.

He walks up to me with his smile, bright as usual...I smile back at him. I get off the bench with my hands shoved in my pockets and my shoulders almost hunched. I raise one hand and say, "Hey Tavbro." And together we walk away.

(Close poem)

Well...hopefully he will like it, I guess I'm not good enough to write poetry. Probably not up my alley just yet, eh whatever man I still got my sick fires.

He walks in and I turn sharply to face him hiding my notebook behind my back.

"Hey Gamz, what ya got there? Taking notes?" He says smiling walking up to me. He gives me a small kiss and I shake my head.

"Nah Tavbro, I wrote you a poem." I say shoving the notebook back into my bag. He tilts his head almost confused.

"What? So I can't read it?" He asks and I shake my head returning the kiss he had just given me.

Gamzee: 5:00PM

I move away his book, I put a pencil in it and placed it on the floor. I pull him closer to me and put him in my lap. Now this way he's taller than me so lean my head on his shoulder. I kiss his shoulder, and up his neck till I reach his cheek. He is blushing madly, looking at me with a grin he can't seem to control. I whisper in his ear, "I love you Tavros."

"I love you too Gamzee." He says leaning his head on mine. 

"I know you've been trying real hard with me tav. I know I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer and it takes some damn well patience with me. So thank you, I really appreciatw what you're tryna do for me." I look at him sincerely.

"Gamzee..." He starts quite seriously, looking me in the eye, "Of course. You're worth it. And to me, you're worth everything. I'll always help you and be there for you. You know I'd never give up on you."

And suddenly, I knew he wasn't talking about teaching me anymore. 

I pull him into a tight hug and start to sob quietly into his shoulder. "I love you. I love you so much. I can't lose you."

"You will never lose me Gamzee." He whispers calmingly, stroking my shaggy black hair. He kisses my cheek, then he turns my head to look my in the eye. I started to calm down, my heart rate slowing to a healthier rate. He wipes my tears away gingerly. He kisses my nose, then my lips. One of those forever kisses, the ones that feel like they just last for hours. He pulls away and looks me in the eye again, leaning his forehead on mine.

And once more, I am calm. I am content.

My breaths still come in unsettled heaves for another minute or so. But Tav still doesn't take his eyes off me. And I'm grateful for that, I am grateful for all that he has done for me. 

I smile and lean away, Tavros looks at me with a questioning eyebrow.

I laugh, "You lower that fucking eyebrow right now mister." 

He smirks, then he starts to laugh. I take the notebook from my bag and open to the poem.

I take a deep and stable breathe this time, I smile and look him in the eyes with all the love I can muster for this lovely little fucker. 

And...I begin to read my heart out for Tavros. MY Tavros.


End file.
